Correct me if I’m wrong but...
We have web at work again, which for me means a whole hour
during nap time of trawling positive thinking and or humanitarian aid sites and
nitpicking and nibbling bit-sized bits of highly opinionated surface info on exactly why the world is both
rammed with outstanding beauty and inspirational miraculous people and pixie
dust and rainbows and fat leathery grey unicorns (that you ‘normal people’
refer to as rhinos) and simultaneously absolutely irreparably fucked!
The latest snippet that’s made my arse twitch, is the US
pointing missiles at Syria. And yes I know I’m a bit behind the times
here, well I say a bit I’m sure they’ve
been ear marked for Assad since way before Bush threw his nasty little “gimme
gimme” tantrum and threw all of his toys out of the pram and into Iraqi
followed by Blair’s stupendous performance like the weedy snotty kid in the
playground following the loathsome yet cumbersome bully from A to B and back
again on demand. I’m sure we all remember swelling with pride as he played out
the role with such accuracy and poked his weasely little pimpled afflicted head
around the giants shoulder and boldly proclaimed (on behalf of an entire
nation) “Yeah… What he said!”
The way I see that
one, is that the cumbersome brute started a nasty whisper, saying that in the
little drawstring bag the exiled foreign kid kept clutched firmly to his side
at all times was a plethora of the most spandanckingly marvelous marbles,
rareys and kingys and queenys and of course ball bearings that anyone had ever
seen, marbles that weren’t from around here and in fact he’d even heard the
weird little foreign kid bragging about this collection when no-one else was
around! (Quite who he was bragging to was omitted from The Lump’s story as
no-one save The Lump had heard the threats of evil doings the foreign kid had
made upon the cool kidz) If the whole playground didn’t unite immeadiatly then
the nasty little foreign kid was going to use his unfairly large and rather
unfairly extraordinary marbles in an epic contest, usurping the entire
collection of the grades above and below! Where most of the cool kidz were
rather indifferent to the threat the nasty foreign kid personified, although
most disliked and distrusted the kid immensely they weren’t willing to risk
jumping him behind the bike shed and snatching the little clutch away from his
grasps for fear of getting caught, thus forgoing their own collection AND the
mythical contents of the little bag to a far more dominating force, the Teacher!
Oh no, confiscation was not an option! Although they were deeply concerned
about the nasty way in which the nasty kid treated the little group he hung
with but the nastiness was simply none of their business. They were busy. But
then there is Britain the little pimply faced kid, who had once been by far the
tallest in the Kindergarten and had been set to continue to great heights of
possibly even 4ft before primary, yet the growth spurt died down and blemishes
and the pimples kicked and then all of sudden The Lump just got fatter and
fatter and bigger and bigger until he dwarfed even the teacher, who did her
utmost to control the gargantuan being (which had she been paid a bit more and
had more spare time would have been a damned site more, but she was busy and
tired most of the time and let’s face it, he’s not going to stop just because
she tells him to, despite her repeatedly doing so, now she just gets on about
her business of lesson planning and educating the others to the best of her
ability throwing in a harsh word and naughty wall sanction and every now and
then to save face and for good measure.)
So Lump the gargantuan takes
precedence over the play ground, they play his games, his way and he’s always became
the captain of the winning team right before the end, but the Foreign Kid
simply won’t play ball. In fact so much so that he encourages others not to
play either and forcing them into his own game, these are weak and weedy kids
that really don’t want to play with the nasty little foreign kid but they
really don’t have a choice.
Now The Lump is both angry and jealous, so he convinces
the pimply kid that if the nasty kid wins all the marbles in the weedy kids
pockets with his awesome collection of rare and disastrous special monster
marbles that no-one has ever seen before, that the pimply kid’s stash may be
next! The only thing to do is storm over lamp him the f**k out snatch the bag
quick before the teacher sees and bring it straight back to The Lump to share
out. In fact he’ll even go over there with him and stand at a distance, just to
make sure he doesn’t try anything, that way he’ll be to blaime but the Pimply Kid
can look like a hero and he’ll have stopped the usurper and saved the marbles for
everyone.
Now the Pimply Kid, who’s still not forgotten about the days in
grades gone by, when his unnaturally gangly stature and long arms meant that he
would not have had to lamp the nasty Foreign Kid or have The Lump behind him,
he could have just waded over demanded the bag and also the marbles of the
weedy kids, all of which would have been bestowed upon him without hesitation
and then distributed back amongst the children as he saw fit (if he indeed
did.) The resonance of the days of stature still strong in the Pimply Kid’s
mind he marches over the playground, with a massive point to prove. Some of the
more sporty imaginative kids twig to what he’s doing, set down the conkers
momentarily and try and talk him out of it, because Francious is certain that
he doesn’t even have any marbles in the bag just a few rocks and a kit-kat
wrapper, Francios says the Pimply Kid is stupid the Pimply Kid says Francios is
more stupider, The Lump refuses to talk to Francious ever again! But the Pimply
Kid’s almost there now and Lump the cumbersome is right behind him so he
reaches into his pockets and grabs his own kingsized ball bearing and windmills
it back, back, back and up and
WALLOP!
The Foreign Kid is down and the Pimply
Kid snatches the bag out of his hand and peers hopefully inside to find a stash
of shiny football cards and a battered pog. The Lump seizes his chance and
swipes the swag from the Pimply Kid ripping out the shiny football stickers and
tossing the scratched pog and the limp empty bag to the ground. He finds an
ordinary run of the mill sticker of a midfielder and palms it off to the pimply
kid, and takes the shiny stickers off to sell for an unfair amount to some kids
in the grade below, and uses the cash to raid the tuckshop at break and buy up
all the good sweets, which tomorrow he’ll be willing to sell for a price
reflecting the high demand and short supply of strawberry bon bons and
chocolate cigarettes, he doesn’t really need the stickers as he’s already got
the complete set stuck into his book at home where no-one can touch it.
So now everyone’s
mad at the Pimply Kid, the weird kids are free to play by themselves but just
can’t agree on a game and are damn adamant that whatever game it is it WONT be
the one the Pimply Kid suggests and the Lump certainly can’t play! Now the tuckshop’s half empty and tomorrow the Lump
will be lording his lollipops over everyone.
THERE!!! I think that’s a
pretty factual description of foreign affairs… Rant over! Didn’t quite mean to
go on that long but I did and you’ve
read it now so what can you say, that’s 30 seconds of your life you’ll never
get back and me 1 step closer to anger induced aneurism. Let’s all have a deep
breath shall we? All! Obama included, chill your beans bruv.
The thing that worries me is that in my lifetime I have been
a citizen of a country that entered into an illegal war without my support and
got away with it! What’s up with that? I mean the streets were filled with
anti-war protests, the rest of the world said no to war, no-one got behind ‘us’
yet they did it anyway. Well someone must have warned the bumbling pair of hard
headed power hungry twats at the helm of the operations that “you’ll never get
away with this!”.
“Oh yeah? Just watch me…”
Not say that Bush or Blair masterminded the entire
operation, twats they are genius, they are not. For evidence of this please
click below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbBxfUK1hfE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_3xvXy9eVM
The powers that be, (the ones that buy themselves presidents
aka Obama opting out of state funding for the election and happening upon Left
Wing master puppeteer George Soros.)
I just Googled Syrian Regime and ABC reported that Obama has made no decision
about Syria, where directly below FOX news, the very birthplace of fact and
integrity, reported Obama prepares to bypass the UN Well what’s the fecking
point in having a U bloody N then? As an aside in the google search bar if you
type Syrian Regime suggestion number 4 is ‘killing babies’ aptly placed by the
God’s of propaganda. Right this is not to say that I am supporting monstrosities
or denying them. All I am saying is that I suspect biased media coverage
supporting another CIA proxy war. If we really care about humanitarian
disasters let’s take a peek at the last decade in Sudan and now South Sudan
after the UN declared the civil war a genocide in I think 2005 and the world sat
back and jack shit about it. The very organization with the founding principle
of never again turned away and now the 100s of thousands of South Sudanese wait
in camps with no identity to be taken over the border to South Sudan where they
can claim citizenship. Problem is the roads are closed and the money for
transport has completely ran out, if you tell a local there are still Southerners
in the North the reaction is shock it was just assumed they’d left, these
people have been disappeared stranded with no country no name no hope and it
wouldn’t cost that much to sort it out relatively speaking, or should we peek a
little further over the continent to Mali, is anyone aware of Mali? Anyone who
knows me know not to get me started on the Clinton administration’s balls up in
Mogadishu leading to the abandonment of Paul Kigame and the “rebels” in Rwanda
and the UN sending information directly to the hand of the interahamwe. I’m not
saying I don’t believe in intervention in fact in many cases it is our
obligation as citizen of the world. In fact I’m not actually sure what I’m
saying and not sure I know enough to say it. Correct me if I’m wrong but have
Syria’s neighbours not refused to support the intervention and are other nation
state threatening to retaliate against Israel? I’m a bit confused as to how
this would avert a humanitarian disaster? I’m obviously ill educated on the
subject so I shall go back and do so, I am working myself up in to a little frenzy
here all spelling nad grammar have gone out the window. I think I shall take my
own advice, chill out have nutty latte, calm myself down and just go about my
business. Nothing to see here folks, eyes down, get on with your business it’s
too much to think about during coffee time.
P.S. please watch this video while I have brew and spit feathers,
love peace and lentils to one and all J
So Lump the gargantuan takes precedence over the play ground, they play his games, his way and he’s always became the captain of the winning team right before the end, but the Foreign Kid simply won’t play ball. In fact so much so that he encourages others not to play either and forcing them into his own game, these are weak and weedy kids that really don’t want to play with the nasty little foreign kid but they really don’t have a choice.
Now The Lump is both angry and jealous, so he convinces the pimply kid that if the nasty kid wins all the marbles in the weedy kids pockets with his awesome collection of rare and disastrous special monster marbles that no-one has ever seen before, that the pimply kid’s stash may be next! The only thing to do is storm over lamp him the f**k out snatch the bag quick before the teacher sees and bring it straight back to The Lump to share out. In fact he’ll even go over there with him and stand at a distance, just to make sure he doesn’t try anything, that way he’ll be to blaime but the Pimply Kid can look like a hero and he’ll have stopped the usurper and saved the marbles for everyone.
Now the Pimply Kid, who’s still not forgotten about the days in grades gone by, when his unnaturally gangly stature and long arms meant that he would not have had to lamp the nasty Foreign Kid or have The Lump behind him, he could have just waded over demanded the bag and also the marbles of the weedy kids, all of which would have been bestowed upon him without hesitation and then distributed back amongst the children as he saw fit (if he indeed did.) The resonance of the days of stature still strong in the Pimply Kid’s mind he marches over the playground, with a massive point to prove. Some of the more sporty imaginative kids twig to what he’s doing, set down the conkers momentarily and try and talk him out of it, because Francious is certain that he doesn’t even have any marbles in the bag just a few rocks and a kit-kat wrapper, Francios says the Pimply Kid is stupid the Pimply Kid says Francios is more stupider, The Lump refuses to talk to Francious ever again! But the Pimply Kid’s almost there now and Lump the cumbersome is right behind him so he reaches into his pockets and grabs his own kingsized ball bearing and windmills it back, back, back and up and
WALLOP!
The Foreign Kid is down and the Pimply Kid snatches the bag out of his hand and peers hopefully inside to find a stash of shiny football cards and a battered pog. The Lump seizes his chance and swipes the swag from the Pimply Kid ripping out the shiny football stickers and tossing the scratched pog and the limp empty bag to the ground. He finds an ordinary run of the mill sticker of a midfielder and palms it off to the pimply kid, and takes the shiny stickers off to sell for an unfair amount to some kids in the grade below, and uses the cash to raid the tuckshop at break and buy up all the good sweets, which tomorrow he’ll be willing to sell for a price reflecting the high demand and short supply of strawberry bon bons and chocolate cigarettes, he doesn’t really need the stickers as he’s already got the complete set stuck into his book at home where no-one can touch it.
So now everyone’s mad at the Pimply Kid, the weird kids are free to play by themselves but just can’t agree on a game and are damn adamant that whatever game it is it WONT be the one the Pimply Kid suggests and the Lump certainly can’t play! Now the tuckshop’s half empty and tomorrow the Lump will be lording his lollipops over everyone.
THERE!!! I think that’s a pretty factual description of foreign affairs… Rant over! Didn’t quite mean to go on that long but I did and you’ve read it now so what can you say, that’s 30 seconds of your life you’ll never get back and me 1 step closer to anger induced aneurism. Let’s all have a deep breath shall we? All! Obama included, chill your beans bruv.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbBxfUK1hfE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_3xvXy9eVM
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