Meanderings and ramblings: Little Miss Bond blogged... who knew?

I Blogged! Who knew I could?

I still haven’t fully answered my question. Though I’ve trying for some months now, how is it I came to be here? Although in the literal sense both you and I both already know. I took the bus. A 40THB bus, I jumped off to be sick, I jumped back on as you already know and landed in shopping arcade called Robinsons, where I had a typically confusing debate as to whether or not there were other flavours of tea than green with a smiling waitress, the conversation went as follows.

After reading the extensive menu I enquire ‘Can I have a Kiwi shake?’ (In poorly grammatical Thai)‘No .Green tea?’

‘No Kiwi?’

‘No have. Green Tea’

‘Apple?’

‘No have. Green Tea.’ The menu promised a plethora of fruit shakes and I feel 
ill, I want fruity icey goodness, but alas there is none.                             

‘Oolong?’

‘Green Tea.’

‘Okay, can I have a Green Tea  please?’

‘Only have ice.’

‘Then yes one Iced Green Tea it is. Perfect’ That’s fine I’ll take what you have, 
just please give me liquids.

‘Ok 35 Baht.’

‘Thank you.’   She hands me the Iced Green Tea. It’s a kiwi shake.

Exhausted from the dramatic tea debacle and still bitten by the fever of the days past I slump to the floor with my shake feeling awfully shaky myself and am awoken by friendly Robinson’s security. I thank my lucky stars for the Thais love for over consuming sugar and gingerly lift the shake to my bedraggled lips. I’d only been on the bus half an hour? Time to find a room.I suppose a large part in my getting here, is inadvertently getting swallowed in a double act. Now this has on a normal day far more pluses than minuses, there’s a companion to confide in, to laugh with, to build a repertoire with in order to make others laugh, to share the bills, to share the chores, to share the joys, to share the bores. But in dual act as in most aspects in life what you truly need is balance, each player has a role and each role has purpose to balance the act.  Lucile Ball and Desi Arnaz,  Sid Little and Eddie large, Penn and Teller, Sid Vicious and Johhny Rotten, Noel and Liam Gallagher, Sonny and Cher, you see where I’m going here?  The point I’m making is it’s easy for one or the other to get lost in the performance and in doing so, they lose sight of the balance, the scales are tipped and one, other or both end up hurting. For me our scales have tipped, the apple cart has been up shut. 
Aristotle once wisely wrote. “You are what you repeatedly do.” Now here’s a man who knows what he is talking about. Have you ever read into the behavior change cycle? It’s a bloody marvelous piece of kit for validating human flaws.Here it is, but just imagine it as a circle.

• Pre-contemplation – a person has not yet decided that change is relevant to them.

• Contemplation - something happens to prompt a person to start thinking about a possible change, but they are still not committed to that change.

• Action - a person begins to plan a change.  They may be learning new skills and finding out information.

• Maintenance - the change has been integrated into the person's life, it is lasting and well practised.  At this point we exit the cycle entirely, or we may go into:

• Lapse or relapse - either temporary or permanent reversion to the pre-change behavior.

This in itself is fascinating enough, however what most people don’t think about in this wheel of change is the permission or justification cycle. At what stage during any of these changes does our will power bow into giving us permission to lapse. Okay, it’s New Year so the perfect time to evaluate this for us all. We all make resolutions.

Pre- contemplation; November: Beers, cigarettes, chocolate eclaires and any other delights are a pleasure to the senses the only thing they damage is my wallet. Healthy eating and exercise is for ‘those people’ the kind of couples who get up at 5am to jog together over Brighton Beach, the kind that name their children after philosophers and live in loft space and played synthesizers in University. So bollocks to that pour me a double, spark me up and spank me!

Contemplation; New Years approaching. Hmm what shall I whole heartedly devote myself into giving up in order to save my hard earned pennies and be fulfilled enriched and just happier all round?Action: New Years day (or  more than likely the 3^rd or 4^th when the party dulls down.) You toss away the Marlborough lights, buy a new toothbrush, step on the scales, Google LA Fitness, switch to decaff, immediately switch back (some things are just sacred), Buy a bunch of bananas a smoothie maker some granola and a celebrity endorsed recipe book and swear things will be different this time. And yes God damn it you can feel it, this time they will!Maintenance: Yes, yes you are the everyday middle classed equivalent to Mr Motivator, you start jogging, you join the gym. You own sweat bands for both wrists, the smoothie maker is the best purchase you ever made and you feel revitalized and brand spanking new! Go on, pat yourself on the back you deserve it!

But then somewhere in the maintenance period, February happens. Let’s face it February is shit, even Giglio himself knew this back in the 1500’s that why he made it the shortest month, to reduce potential for mass suicide and weird occults (you heard me scientologists, spaghetti monster any day!). Somewhere in the month of doom and gloom and rain you realise LA fitness costs a bomb, and you’d have to drive there or get the bus to avoid getting wet which defeats the object. Coffee’s not quite the same without a cigarette and beside their only lights. The smoothie maker takes for f**king ever to clean and the cook books full of exotic ingredients you can ‘t get in Spar and wasn’t half the point of turning over a new leaf to save money? This is getting expensive, may as well spend the gym membership on fags let’s face it you’ve cut down it’s cheaper now, buy skimmed milk and keep the toothbrush as long as physically possible, it still counts till May!And there you go my friends you have given yourself full permission to relapse. All your actions are fully justified and you’re back into pre-contemplation till November and let’s face it you tried you barely failed you’ve done no wrong. And when you’re in that stage of justification then there’s no arguing bartering or reasoning, with even the most reasonable of all human beings. And that is why the scales have tipped, and that is half of how I got here.